In 1992, John Gray wrote the book, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus on the topic of
relationship and love. To date, it’s the all-time, best-selling hard-cover nonfiction
book ever sold. In fact, over 7 million copies in 40 different languages have
been purchased to the tune of $18 million dollars in sales! Clearly there’s a
need for us to understand the differences between one another in support of
developing healthy relationships between men and women!
So what does a personal “self-help” book on love and
relationship have to do with business? I say EVERYTHING!
We spend more time with those we work with than we do our
friends, families and partners.
Those same differences (and challenges!) that exist in love
relationships exist in ALL relationships because we are all unique, with distinct
wiring that makes us who we are as separate individuals. And, in order to get any real meaning
out of life, or results at the office, we are created to be in relationship and
interdependent upon one another.
Our similarities end once we get beyond our basic core
needs. There’s more that makes us different than alike; our habits, fears,
beliefs, values, conflict handling styles, interests and emotional intelligence
all vary. This reality creates gaps in our working relationships causing similar
communication challenges to those that exist in the love relationships that
John Gray talks about.
As a team coach, I see the dynamics of poor communication in
the workplace all of the time. It ranges from gossip among co-workers (even in
the C-Suite) all the way to workplace bullying. And you can bet that your employee
satisfaction, engagement and productivity are all negatively affected because
of it!
So what do you do?
Consider the following to help improve relationships in your
organization:
1.
Clarify and
Revisit your Why—Do you know “why” your company exists? This is about
knowing more than “how” you do business or “what” you do. It’s about clarifying
your company’s compelling reason for being in business that acts as a “stake in
the ground”. This “stake” is your “true north” for business success and healthy
relationship in your organization. It helps to take the focus off of the
challenges and problems among individuals and teams and puts it back onto the
company purpose. If you don’t know your company “why”, or perhaps it’s changed,
be sure to watch Simon Sinek’s TED talk on the topic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPYeCltXpxw
2.
Challenge
your Mission, Vision and Values—Are you clear about your mission, vision
and values in your company? If so, are you “on target” and “walking your talk”
in the execution of these within your company? Do these three areas align with
your “why”? Talk to a few employees and you’ll get a sense of how well you are
accomplishing your stated goals. With this insight, what do you need to do
next?
3.
Design
Agreements—Do you have clarity on what agreements are needed among your
team members to support constructive interaction? What are your “rules for
engagement”? Do these agreements create an environment of safety and trust so
employees can be open and honest without fear of retribution? Are the
discussions during team meetings getting to the “heart of the matter” or are
they “superficial”? If they are superficial and “nice”, I suggest that at a
minimum, you use your company values as a guide to design a set of agreements that
will build trust and safety among your team(s) so “real” conversations can
happen.
4.
Develop a
Conflict Handling Process—Conflict is about “differences” so expect it to
happen frequently and often in your company! J
Be proactive to prepare for conflict by defining how you want to communicate when
it gets difficult. What “code words” will help you enter into the “awkward
zone” of conflict? When you aren’t in agreement with others, how do you want to
deal with it? A great resource to developing your conflict handling process is
the Thomas Kilmann Conflict Handling Mode Instrument. https://www.cpp.com/Pdfs/smp248248.pdf
5.
Provide
ongoing Feedback—This is the most critical step to maintain your foundation
for healthy communication and collaboration. It’s not a “one and done” process!
Questions to be asking regularly are, “How are we doing as a team?” “What’s
working?” “What’s not?” “What will we do differently to improve?” If you’re not
creating a feedback loop for continuous improvement, start.
Relationships
needs to be nurtured at the office just like they are at home. Say what?! Yes,
your greatest assets within your company are your people. If you’re not
maintaining these relationships like you are your fixed assets, then it’s time!
In fact, this might be where you’ll find the answers you’ve been looking for to
improve your bottom-line results. With this in mind, what’s your next step?
SHANNON BRUCE
SHANNON BRUCE
Shannon
Bruce, PCC is a Professional Certified Coach and current President and CEO of
StoryBridge, Inc. of Kitsap County. She has been in the professional coaching
industry for over 11 years working in many capacities as an Executive and
Leadership Coach, Team Coach, Facilitator and Trainer. Her diverse background
also includes 13 years as a CPA with Ernst & Young, Corporate &
Regional Operations Management in the wholesale distribution field, and
entrepreneurship launching multiple business start-ups.
Shannon
considers herself a Catalyst for Culture Change who is an “out-of-the-box”
thinker looking for new and life-giving ways to enhance business results and
team relationships. With her corporate background and coach training, Shannon
understands the needs of both “people” and “profit” to help companies produce
more with less. Her true passion & mission is “going into companies” to
“create communities”.
Living in Bremerton, WA with
her 14-year old daughter, Shannon enjoys quality time with family and
friends in addition to reading, exercising and hiking.
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